Alzheimer's and Money Management

My bank balance was in turmoil. Fortunately the bank said I have more money in my account than my Money Manager program said. After two days of searching, I still can't see what went wrong, but I'm not ready to give up on handling the finances yet. Hubby, when I married him, had such a mess going on financially. It was not easy, but I finally got everything under control. I haven't allowed him, nor has he wanted to, to have much say as far as our money management. He looked absolutely panic stricken when I told him it was getting very difficult for me to do some of these things, so I need to just take my time and remember to approach these things in the morning when my brain is a bit more in control.

Yesterday we had a handyman come out to help us pick out new security and storm doors for our home. We were working on my iPad together and I placed the order. This morning, as I looked at the order on my computer, I could see that just about everything was wrong. Was it me? Was it him? Was it the website? I tend to blame my Alzheimer's for everything that goes wrong, but I'm not convinced that this is so. For instance, now that I look at how Home Depot arranges their website, I think it was him (making me order handles when the door already comes with handles) and the website (that showed the color I wanted was not available but I found it on another screen as available) this time. And, I think the program for my money is wrong as it is showing a negative balance for all of last year (which I had reconciled perfectly all last year and was never in the negative), not me or the bank. So, I just added the extra into the program as an "error" and now I jive with the bank. Sometimes you just have to adapt and move on.

I'm sure this is boring info, but since nobody reads this, it is helping me to put it down so I can let it go and move on. 

Mistakes happen. That's why there are erasers on pencils.

On a positive note. I have taught myself a somewhat new to me technique in weaving. Adding beads. And, it turned out, after a few tears and choice words, perfectly.

Accidents Happen with Alzheimer's

Smacked my head on the kitchen island again. Didn't tell hubby at first as his response is always that I should do this or that to prevent whatever. Right.  Like, if I put a sign up I'll remember? Like, if I think before I act this won't happen? Advice like that makes me want to scream. Does anyone really think I do these things on purpose? So, when he saw me touching my tender head,  he started with the "You need to" crap and I immediately shut him down. Not like me to do that as I need him by my side, but he is just going to have to start learning more about Alzheimer's if he is going to be helpful. 

I also cut my finger badly. Again, I haven't share with him for the obvious above reason. I accidentally left my glasses on the bed overnight....I walked into the bathroom in the dark on the wrong side of the wall and walked right into it. I lost the bird's food but finally found it in the freezer. I started a crochet scarf and now can't remember how to continue. I tried to do reservations for a trip Online and messed everything up when I got confused by the dates. It took me over 7 hours, several phone calls, and a lot of tears to get it straightened out. All minor stumbling blocks that only I can see, because you know, I really don't have Alzheimer's. Several days of testing by a professional must be wrong.

Either people insist that I don't have Alzheimer's or they just run away from whatever proves that I do. So frustrating. I wish (if wishes were horses, then beggars would ride is what my first husband always said) that I had someone who actually hears what I'm saying and understands what I need. It's a lonely journey.

On a brighter side, I can see that there are some viewers to this blog. Probably from Instagram? Anyway, it is a positive. And, I have been busy learning Brooks Bouquet and adding beads to a scarf on my loom.

Instagram, Tarot, and Alzheimer's Unite

My Journal Nook

Determined to be of help in dispelling incorrect beliefs about dementia and Alzheimer's, I've decided to toss the card maker image of my past life and promote the tarot loving, hobby rancher, weaver me that has evolved over the past three years since my diagnosis. 

Since no one has been able to find this blog, I added it to my profile on Instagram where I am hoping to make new friends with others who share my passions. If you found me through Instagram, welcome. If not, a link back is: jeanchaneyaz https://www.instagram.com/jeanchaneyaz/

Little Billy Gets Lost - and he didn't even have dementia

 Since nobody has found my blog yet, I read that I needed to add "Alzheimer's" to the blog name if I ever expected anyone to find it. I had hoped that I might be an encouraging light for people when diagnosed. Hope this helps.

Do any of you remember the Sunday funnies that had The Family Circus written by Bil Keene? Well, he did several of them of little Billy on his way home from school. He showed a map of all the stops Billy made before he finally reached his destination.

I often think of little Billy as I work my way through a goal. As an example, I have a "smart" watch that reminds me to brush my teeth. It has a snooze option that I seem to click repeatedly all morning long. On the to the necessary teeth brushing, I:

Realized my coffee cup was empty, so I had to refill it

But, there were dishes in the sink that needed washing

The dish soap was almost gone, so I went to the laundry room to get the soap and

Remembered that I had a load of wash to do. So,

To the bedroom to get the laundry, but

Dust bunnies called to be vacuumed.

I did get the vacuum out but first I had to change the bird cage paper before I could vacuum

Which took me outside to the garbage where weeds just shouted to be pulled up.

Yup, typical morning. Part of the morning was also spent looking for the top to hubby's mug. He accusingly flapped it in front of me as I was on the phone trying to change his doctor's apt. Always my fault when anything goes missing these days. Can't say that I blame him; however, he's just as bad and I found it right on the counter where he had taken the mug out to fill it!  

If you have mornings like this, you might be more like little Billy than you though.

Oh, and yes, my teeth are brushed!

Keeping Busy - Alzheimer's - Dementia

 Yes, I forgot that I started a blog. It's a busy time of the year. Well, it seems that every day is part of a busy time anymore. Never time to just do nothing. Remember the delicious days of childhood when you could say "I'm bored"? Adulthood, though long sought after, doesn't seem to know these words. There always seems to be appointments, chores, guests, and more to keep us busy from morning until night. And, that damned Internet just steals so much time too. I can get lost for hours researching something else that I read about that demands my attention. I have projects (knitting, crochet, weaving, etc.) all in mid creation while I get distracted by yet another think I need to learn or do. Is it the Alzheimer's or is it just a panic that has come over me to learn everything now that I know my time is limited? 

Who knows? 

4 babies last month! Aren't they cute? Part of what keeps me busy 😍

Why Did I Come Into This Room - Alzheimer's

Some days you've just got to laugh. I know everyone of a certain age, or even younger, has this happen all the time. But just because it's happened to you does not take away my diagnosis. Stop trying to tell me that because you can't remember why you walked into a room now and then makes you the same as I am with my slowly tangling brain. It's just not helpful.

Thank you.

 

 

 

 The Slow Roasted I

 

 

(Why do my posts always have Alzheimer's or Dementia in the titles? For those search engines. But, so far I can't even find my blog if I look it up on Google, so I don't suppose it's helping much. I started this blog hoping to be a bit of an encouragement to others in my situation. But, maybe it will just have to be for me. I'll keep trying though to get it out there.)

DementiaTurns Grateful

 Grateful for: HANDS

I don't suppose we think of this often, but for some reason, that's where my thoughts went today. I think I noticed that my left hand fingernails were ragged and just a mess as I use my hands as tools for gardening. I often will watch my dog play, using her mouth to catch a ball, and wonder what she would do if she suddenly had hands to catch instead. I think of other animals without hands, like fish and birds and remember how I've felt sorry for them, even as a child, as they lacked hands to things that seemed to me important. There are some animals that do have hands. Little rodents holding a treat and nibbling away captivate me. Gorillas, monkeys, and apes have hands, but don't captivate me at all. I wonder why? 

I have used my hands to comfort a child, wipe away tears, play music, bake, turn pages of a book, use a keyboard, and now, when my hands can't seem to tie a knot or hold a cup in place I know not to blame my hands. Arthritic and dealing with pains they still will do most things that I command them to do....except when I can't command. Losing some simple, everyday, uses of my hands makes me angry. I can scream out loud (as long as no one is around), curse the universe, (actually I usually direct the anger at myself), but it doesn't help. Walking away, calming down, and waiting for tomorrow still works most of the time. 

 

 

        Sometimes I have to just learn the skill all over. 

        Time consuming, but I still have time. 

        Grateful for hands. 

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