Diagnosed with Dementia and Alzheimer's, this blog is to help keep my mind active. I'll share my thoughts, current projects and interests. Negativity is not wanted, so all comments will be monitored.

Saturday, October 15, 2022

DementiaTurns Grateful

 Grateful for: HANDS

I don't suppose we think of this often, but for some reason, that's where my thoughts went today. I think I noticed that my left hand fingernails were ragged and just a mess as I use my hands as tools for gardening. I often will watch my dog play, using her mouth to catch a ball, and wonder what she would do if she suddenly had hands to catch instead. I think of other animals without hands, like fish and birds and remember how I've felt sorry for them, even as a child, as they lacked hands to things that seemed to me important. There are some animals that do have hands. Little rodents holding a treat and nibbling away captivate me. Gorillas, monkeys, and apes have hands, but don't captivate me at all. I wonder why? 

I have used my hands to comfort a child, wipe away tears, play music, bake, turn pages of a book, use a keyboard, and now, when my hands can't seem to tie a knot or hold a cup in place I know not to blame my hands. Arthritic and dealing with pains they still will do most things that I command them to do....except when I can't command. Losing some simple, everyday, uses of my hands makes me angry. I can scream out loud (as long as no one is around), curse the universe, (actually I usually direct the anger at myself), but it doesn't help. Walking away, calming down, and waiting for tomorrow still works most of the time. 

 

 

        Sometimes I have to just learn the skill all over. 

        Time consuming, but I still have time. 

        Grateful for hands. 

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