Dementia Determination

When you weave a pattern, you must be able to count correctly. Obviously that is a skill that is being challenged. I suppose many would just through up their arms in despair and give up. Not me. I am learning not to be so hard on myself. Say a few cuss words, walk away, and take things apart. Sometimes it takes several days to do a step that would take a "normal" person a few hours, but that's just the way it is now. I'm retired, I have the time.

I'm making some (insert to say that I am having trouble remembering what they are called, but I will pause until I can tell you).......placemats for the kitchen island. When I finish, and I will, I will post them for you.

Alzheimer's - Don't Fall for Everything You Read

I had to laugh when I tried to look up my blog in Google. Google says it doesn't exist. Guess I'd better bookmark it so I can find it even if nobody else can. That's okay though. I'm hoping my family and friends don't stumble across this anyway as I'm sure they would not be pleased. But, I was hoping that others with Alzheimer's/dementia would be able to find it and that it would encourage them to plow forward instead of focusing on the negatives that they read on the Internet or what their ill informed doctors tell them. 

This rant reminded me of all the places I went to when I was first diagnosed to find something, someone, anything to make help make sense of this. Actually, the Alzheimer's official groups are quite dismal for us. Good for those poor caregivers that are stuck with us though. So, I joined a couple of Facebook groups. I left one almost immediately as all the posts were from caregivers complaining about how horrible their lives were because they had to deal with terrible behaviors on the part of their charges or loved ones. Their lives were ruined and they were so miserable. They each came with stories of some incident to frighten me even more of my future. So, I found a group that was just for those with Als or Dementia. Perfect, I thought, until one member was so upset at her diagnoses that all she could post about was was to end her life. Really? Well, not one to mind my own business, I proceeded to advise her to focus on the things that she could do instead of the things she couldn't. I guess I really hit a nerve though and got blasted for thinking that someone should actually find something positive in life. I left that group as well. Now, the only one I follow is Gail at the Too Young For Dementia blog (https://dementiaalzheimers.home.blog/) because of her positive and upbeat approach. Between the two of us (and there may be more, I hope) we will change the face of dementia. 

On a lighter note; One of the things I went back to recently is weaving. I realized that it requires a lot of math and so, after a 10 year pause, I pulled out my looms. Amazing that I had forgotten absolutely everything about how to weave😏 But, after many tears, many unprintable words, loads of frustration and walking away, I am back on the path (thanks to all the YouTube videos and helpful Online groups). This is the start of some dishcloths. Loving this addition to my daily list of "must do's".

A Beginning of Tangled Dementia

This will be a journal, for myself, to preserve memories and thoughts for future reference for me as my mind slides into the inevitable future with Alzheimer's and dementia. I was inspired by a blog that I read regularly, Too Young for Dementia (https://dementiaalzheimers.home.blog/). Gail has early onset, I have the plain old regular, take its time kind. That means that my symptoms don't show and people simply don't believe that I have Alzheimer's as my speech pathways have not yet been affected. Outsiders don't see the issues I have to deal with and family and close friends want to pretend that they are not losing me to this horrible disease. (This makes it doubly difficult as there is no one to share my fears with.)  

My goal in doing this blog is to show others with a similar diagnosis that we don't have to just give up and die. I intend to relearn everything that I can't remember or do any longer into the still working part of my brain.

Many years ago, way before I ever thought about Alzheimer's, I read a report of three aged brothers. Two of the brothers died quiet early of Alzheimer's, the third lived into his 90's. When he passed, an autopsy showed that his Alzheimer's was very advanced and he should have died years ago. Why? He was also a mathematician and continued to study and even write books up until the end. He did NOT give up.

I truly believe that my determination and willingness to work hard daily on learning new things will allow me the third brother's kind of life.

There is a lot of information out there but I have found that most of it caters to the caregivers. We, with the disease, are thought to be brain dead.....not yet, so don't put me in a box where you think we all sit in a chair staring into  space and drooling. We still can think, have feelings, have opinions. We have good days and bad days. Many of us try to keep a sense of humor when we do absolutely stupid things. I'm here to prove it all to you.

Everyone has to deal with something they didn't ask for. We all die eventually. Our purpose in life is to learn from everything that is thrown at us and gracefully (sometimes after a bit of a stumble) get up. I am getting up. I truly believe this challenge was given to me so that I might help to change the current perception of an Als. (Term used in the airport to let staff know that they're dealing with a potential wanderer, LOL!) Help cheer me on.

If anyone is reading this, I welcome you on my journey. I added Tarot as one of my "new to me" things to learn. So, like The Fool, I set myself along this tangled street with my tangled mind to find a new adventure.