Alzheimer's - Don't Give In

Today has me thinking about sounds. Loud sounds like drums, airplanes, trains are music to my ears. I grew up in a small town in NJ where, with no air conditioning, we slept with the windows open. Each night I fell asleep to the sound of the Hawthorne Caballero, a Championship-winning drum and bugle corp that practiced in a nearby park. I wound up with two sons and one of my husbands (yes, more than one, but that's a story for another time) who were drummers. I never could get enough of listening to them. My current husband was a Chief Master Sergeant in the Air Force, 30 years, and is also in love with the sound of a roaring jet. The sound of freedom he calls them. Why the love of these loud sounds? I don't know for sure but they are something that I can feel throughout my whole body. I'm not sure anything else does that.

I also love wind chimes. Very soothing. And, I lovingly recall the of the sounds, when dozing on a blanket on the beach, of the ocean waves crashing, the boardwalk cacophony of muted sounds, the squealing of little children running from the waves, the sound of pounding feet as they walked in the hot sand. I know I will never see the ocean or hear these sounds again, so they will have to remain a precious memory. 

Sounds I don't like? The sound of an air raid signal terrifies me. I believe that I lived during the second world was and had to deal with that sound. I believe that that is actually how I died, from a bomb. I can remember the sound and feel the separation of my body and soul. I also, never having driven a stick shift vehicle, found myself trying to shift my automatic car when I was first driving. I also seem to have a fascination with Hitler and have read/watched just about anything I can about him trying to grasp at how/why it all happened. Still no clue though.  

This is a photo that I took last week with another disaster caused by my inability to follow directions. If I did not have Als and dementia I would have come to the conclusion that I just didn't have the ability to be a weaver. However, my diagnoses just makes me very stubborn and determined. So, on I go and now I have something that will look nice and is well done. 

Don't ever give in.