Just a Ramble From a Traveler with Alzheimer's

I recently did my DNA and the results were very interesting. They verified to me that I have been correct in my feelings that I am of gypsy blood. Now, I understand that the term is often thought of as derogatory, but in researching it I have found that many Romani, travelers, still use the term with pride. It's a shame, to me at least, that words can now be thought of as an insult. I do understand though and will try, I really mean try, to banish the word from my mouth. But, never from my mind as I will always identify as a gypsy.

A Gipsy Family - Facsimile of a Woodcut in the "Cosmographie Universelle" of Munster- in folio, Basle 1552 -Public Domain

Looking at my background and the areas where my DNA originates, I can see the wandering nature of my ancestors as they traveled Eastern Europe, Russia, Hungary, the Balkans, then through Germany to Denmark, Finland, and Wales to find acceptance. Of course, they never did find acceptance. Why? I suppose it's the same today. If you refuse to spit out what everyone else believes in you are then an outcast. 

Knowing this, I am reminded of the mournful voice of my grandmother's singing that was so beautiful it would bring tears to my eyes. The persecution, the family ties all bring up memories of lives past. I understand my love of riotous color, warm comfort food, ponies, laughter, and children. I can follow the stars on my journeys as they did in their glorious wagons pulled by horses. When I pull out my tarot cards, bang a drum, or say good morning to the sun I am glad to have come from humble beginnings with the strength that it must have taken to stand strong in beliefs that weren't shared by all. 

This has nothing to do with Alzheimer's or dementia, or does it? I think I am trying to put my place together in my mind so that when I pass over it will be more recognizable to me. Easy the transition so to speak.

Beginning to Panic - Alzheimer's Blog

Beginning to panic. 

I get very confused when dealing with money these days. I was looking to see which credit cards need attending to when I saw that I had paid one credit card three times instead of paying three different credit cards. It is good to find that, if I say that I have Alzheimer's, many companies are kind and transfer me to an agent who has the authority to help. Fortunately, even though I have to wait a week to the funds, I was able to straighten things out. 

Last week I almost burned the house down when I forgot that I was boiling chicken for my ill puppy. I suddenly saw smoke, then flames coming from the stove. I only burned a pot and the chicken though and not the house. (Puppy is fine now.)

However, several of my doctors insist that I do not have Alzheimer's. Of course, they do not have to live with me and see the mayhem that I am able to create in a short time. Thankfully, I can still realize and then fix most of my errors. But, one day I will not. Maybe then they will come to agree with the full diagnosis that I received from a Neurologist. (Can you tell how frustrated it makes me when anyone, particularly a doctor who should know better, insists that I don't have dementia?)

Edited: This was a note I got from my niece when I told her the above story: I’m so sad for you with the frustrations you must be dealing with. Does this type of thing scare you or do you just shrug and move on? To be honest, if it were me, it would scare me and frustrate me. I feel awful for what you’re dealing with .

This is how I responded to her: First it scares me, then I get angry, then  forgive myself because there’s nothing can do about it, then I move on 

She then wrote back: That sounds right. There is nothing that you can do so just be kind to yourself. You didn’t do anything to be dealt this hand.  Maybe you were given this path to help others with your insight. 

I love this girl!

On a lighter note, we had twins born the other day. So cute!

Witchcraft and Alzheimer's

I posted the blurb below on a Facebook group that I belong to today. I was thinking about it and wondered why I am reluctant to actually post about my witchcraft activities here. Judgement? Should I care at this point in my life? I'm not trying to change anyone else's beliefs, just being joyful that I finally found the truth.

Here's what I posted:

Having been diagnosed about 4 years ago with Alzheimer's put me into a spin. My doctor advised me to find something new to learn and keep the progress in a slow down state. Not really sure how Tarot jumped into my path, but you must know the rabbit hole that took me down into runes, iChing, astrology and such until I discovered witchcraft.

I do have a blog about this journey. I'm not really too brave about posting the witchcraft beliefs because I'm afraid of scaring off those I'm trying to reach. I do post more on Instagram though where I am jeanchaneyaz. 

 

(This is a photo that I played with using Procreate and Pixabay. I do not have long hair, lol! The only part of the photo that is "me" is the face.)