I went to the grocery store today and an older gentleman commented about the high price of meat as we pondered what was affordable in that section of the store. I had a package of something that I thought was quite reasonable so I showed it to him. We began chatting when I said that it was just enough for my husband and me for one dinner. He said that he was now alone as his wife had recently passed from dementia. He had put her in a home for the last month of her life as she had been increasingly difficult to deal with. She had become angry and accusatory. It took four year to reach that point though. As we chatted we talked about how old age gets us eventually and that we don't get to choose what kills us. He was angry at the fact that the newest drug for Alzheimer's won't be available for another year. He seemed to think it was a cure. However, from what I've read, it's just another way for drug companies to make money feeding of of people's dreams.
Anyway, I left the store thinking about my husband. Will he have to care for me? Will he have to have me put away because I become too difficult to deal with? Or, will outlive him? I think all we can do is live each day to the fullest without worrying about those things. There's nothing that can be done so what's the point.
I got a call from my doctor's office this morning. Something about my cholesterol levels being bad. Should I care? I'm dying anyway. Shouldn't I just enjoy that cookie? Questions and no answers. Last time I was there he said that I shouldn't worry. Now the call says I should. Make up your mind medical community.I have enough trouble thinking without adding making decisions regarding things that are too confusing to think about.
No comments:
Post a Comment